When I was learning English in a Danish school, I was taught to say 'yes please' and 'no thanks' rather than simply 'yes' and 'no'. It is important to be polite in English and especially the word 'please' poses a challenge, as it does not exist in the Danish language.
Visiting London with my parents, I noticed people constantly saying 'sorry'. That seemed very strange to me. If you nearly walk into someone or gets in their way, the English would usually say 'sorry' - even if they are not!. If I accidentally stepped on someone's toes on the tube, they would say sorry to me. Danish people do not apologise unless there is a very bad thing we can be held personally accountable for. Saying 'undskyld' or 'beklager' ('sorry') makes a Dane appear weak and that is the last thing we want to.
My parents taught me always to give the answer 'fine' to the question 'how are you?'. That seemed very akward to me because I was used to only being asked that question by people who wanted to start a conversation. I felt it was rude to give such a short answer, but to my surprise the English speaking people didn't seem to mind my rudeness.
Despite the fact that the Danes may appear to be more direct and have fewer politeness rituals, we are not necessarily a rude people. We thank each other for any time spent together ('tak for sidst''); welcome each other to and say thanks for a meal ('Værsgo' and 'tak for mad'): and we say: "can I ask for?" ('Må jeg bede om') if we want to be polite. However, if you ever step on someone's toes in Copenhagen, you are more likely to be told of than to hear the word 'undskyld'.
My dad has a theory about why British men often end every sentence with "mate". He views the British as naturally very aggressive (perhaps stemming partly from our Danish roots?!), and thinks the term "mate" has evolved between men in order to diffuse potentially hostile situations. One can construct an argument based on adaptive advantage etc and this could probably be extended to Londoners' always saying "sorry"!
ReplyDeleteWell, it is my impression that the British have a fair amount of self irony and your dad lives up to that. Think there is some truth to the theory that the language is used to avoid conflict - this perhaps doesn't concern the Danes as much.
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